Arthur Simmons writing.
My friends, it seems that you've all finally come to believe that the indoor pool discovered at our swim party is not just any old pool, but Purgatory! Now, it seems that all of you truly believe this, but there are a couple of things that make me that there are others who don't.
First of all, Maxwell, Draw, Benny-J, and myself all tried to convince others who were in Purgatory that it was Purgatory. When people entered, we would say, "Welcome to Purgatory," and when they left we would say, "You are now leaving Purgatory." We also tried to tell the old people swimming that they were in Purgatory. Unfortunately, NO ONE BELIEVED US! We even told Maxwell's mother that we had gone to Purgatory. She took it as a joke, saying things like, "Are you better because of it?" and, "Did you meet any friends there?" Other adults said similar things.
This is an issue of national, if not international, concern. The world must know that we have found the entrance to Purgatory. Also, from this blog, it appears that there's another man named Mark Greenman who has died and is now stuck in Purgatory. His story must be made public, as well. Not to forget the fact that it truly pains me heart to see all the old people swimming like snails in that pool, not knowing that they could be swimming for a very, very, VERY long time.
Anyone who can attest to the fact that we have found Purgatory, please do so. Beware, however, that there will be lots of media and religious authorities who will want to investigate this. No doubt the Vatican will send a number of their clergy to look into this matter more deeply. Be prepared for this.
If any of you do write on this blog about your experiences in Purgatory, please don't forget to leave your name. This is Arthur Simmons, signing off.
Showing posts with label swim. Show all posts
Showing posts with label swim. Show all posts
Sunday, June 7, 2009
Friday, June 5, 2009
Another Perspective on This Odd Place, Pt. 3
Arthur Simmons reporting.
Now that it was absolutely, surely, undeniably certain that we had discovered Purgatory, we had to evangelize others about this belief. Also, there was another pressing question that could not go unanswered in our hearts: If this was Purgatory, why could we not find Heaven or Hell?
First, to evangelize others all of us believers stood at the entrance and exit to Purgatory. When someone came in, we would say, "Welcome to Purgatory," or, "You are now entering Purgatory." When someone left, we would say, "You are now leaving Purgatory," or, "You are exiting Purgatory." We tried to convince the old people swimming that they were also in Purgatory, but they would not listen. The vast majority of people seemed to understand what we meant, but they did not seem to believe that this was in fact Purgatory and not some health club's swimming pool.
Although most of the people who we shared our findings with knew what Purgatory was, a few did not. Alexandra was one of these people. She boldly asked, "What is Purgatory?" Maxwell, a great theologian, responded, "Purgatory is a place in the Catholic tradition where many dead people go to be purified of their sins before entering Heaven." Absolutely beautifully said. I could not have put it any better myself. I reminded myself to encourage Maxwell to find some kind of theological career when he grew up. A Catholic priest would seem the most fitting with his vast collection of knowledge on that particular religion.
As mentioned above, we were still wondering where Heaven and Hell were located. If Purgatory was easily found on Earth, shouldn't they be too? And how come only a very small number of dead inhabited Purgatory from the way we saw it? Shouldn't there be many more people in it? The answers to all of these questions would be answered in time.
First, we decided that the pool party outside the exit to Purgatory was Heaven. It was a nice, beautiful place with many happy people, good food, and a nice pool (although, oddly enough, Purgatory had a pool as well.) As for Hell, it was decided amongst all of us that the locker rooms that we came out of must have been Hell. There was a burning sauna room in here, presumably the fire that picture people when they think of Hell. There was also a news magazine that implied the Republican Party was dead, obviously Hellish. There were old naked men taking showers (no further comments necessary.) Yes, this was definitely Hell.
Now, there was still the pressing question of why so few people were occupying any of these three areas, Heaven, Hell, or Purgatory. Teeler thought of an answer that we all generally accepted. These were simply places in the afterlife from our dimension. There would be countless other Purgatories, Heavens, and Hells, just from other people's point's of views. Now that we had all of these questions figured out, one last question remained: How had we been able to travel to the world of the dead if we ourselves were, in fact, not dead?
Now that it was absolutely, surely, undeniably certain that we had discovered Purgatory, we had to evangelize others about this belief. Also, there was another pressing question that could not go unanswered in our hearts: If this was Purgatory, why could we not find Heaven or Hell?
First, to evangelize others all of us believers stood at the entrance and exit to Purgatory. When someone came in, we would say, "Welcome to Purgatory," or, "You are now entering Purgatory." When someone left, we would say, "You are now leaving Purgatory," or, "You are exiting Purgatory." We tried to convince the old people swimming that they were also in Purgatory, but they would not listen. The vast majority of people seemed to understand what we meant, but they did not seem to believe that this was in fact Purgatory and not some health club's swimming pool.
Although most of the people who we shared our findings with knew what Purgatory was, a few did not. Alexandra was one of these people. She boldly asked, "What is Purgatory?" Maxwell, a great theologian, responded, "Purgatory is a place in the Catholic tradition where many dead people go to be purified of their sins before entering Heaven." Absolutely beautifully said. I could not have put it any better myself. I reminded myself to encourage Maxwell to find some kind of theological career when he grew up. A Catholic priest would seem the most fitting with his vast collection of knowledge on that particular religion.
As mentioned above, we were still wondering where Heaven and Hell were located. If Purgatory was easily found on Earth, shouldn't they be too? And how come only a very small number of dead inhabited Purgatory from the way we saw it? Shouldn't there be many more people in it? The answers to all of these questions would be answered in time.
First, we decided that the pool party outside the exit to Purgatory was Heaven. It was a nice, beautiful place with many happy people, good food, and a nice pool (although, oddly enough, Purgatory had a pool as well.) As for Hell, it was decided amongst all of us that the locker rooms that we came out of must have been Hell. There was a burning sauna room in here, presumably the fire that picture people when they think of Hell. There was also a news magazine that implied the Republican Party was dead, obviously Hellish. There were old naked men taking showers (no further comments necessary.) Yes, this was definitely Hell.
Now, there was still the pressing question of why so few people were occupying any of these three areas, Heaven, Hell, or Purgatory. Teeler thought of an answer that we all generally accepted. These were simply places in the afterlife from our dimension. There would be countless other Purgatories, Heavens, and Hells, just from other people's point's of views. Now that we had all of these questions figured out, one last question remained: How had we been able to travel to the world of the dead if we ourselves were, in fact, not dead?
Another Perspective on This Odd Place, Pt. 2
Note: This is an Arthur Simmons posting
What started out as a joke became hard-core religious belief for us. We had found Purgatory! This was it. And now we came to realize that it was nowhere near as bad as the Catholic Church had made it out to be.
Purgatory was a farily big room, about 20 ft. by 30 ft. There was a large pool in the middle of it, a small hot tub to the side, some strange pictographs depicting human figures in motion on a wall, some closests and other objects scattered hear and there, and some observatory windows, where, we assumed, God watched. The room itself was farily dark (although there were some hanging lights) and fairly warm. As mentioned before, it was harder to breathe in Purgatory than in the real world. A very distinctive feature of Purgatory, though, was the fact that many old men and women were swimming in its pool, moving unbelievably slowly.
Now, my friends and I found Purgatory absolutely fascinating. It was like Heaven on Earth for us (no religious reference or pun intended). One of my friends, Maxwell, was also convinced that we had discovered Purgatory. Another, Teeler, felt quite the opposite, holding in the tradition of Classical Lutheran Protestantism that Purgatory didn't exist. And others like Michke and Benny-J were simply shocked at the revelation that we had finally discovered the location of Purgatory.
I recall at that fateful swim party when Maxwell, Draw, and I introduced Benny-J to Purgatory. He seemed very distraught and sad, so we thought that it might cheer him up. "Whaa," he said when he saw it. Still, he was very weak and frail. We all sat down at a table in Purgatory. "I'm so sad," he commented, "I'm never going to be able to have kids." He then began to close his eyes and go to sleep. I became very concerned with this, and started to think about all of the moral guidelines and rules in Purgatory. "No," I said, "You are not allowed to sleep in Purgatory." With that, all four of us left and went back outside.
Now, this brought up an important topic for me: What was permissible to do in Purgatory? Obviously, you could not sleep, and Maxwell, Teeler, myself, and another friend named J-Ban decided that talking loudly was not permitted in Purgatory. When J-Ban asked Maxwell why, he simply said, "You must talk quietly in Purgatory." Immediately after saying this, a rather loud, gregarious friend of ours named Jackson was about to open the door to Purgatory and come inside with us. Maxwell recognized right away what would happen. "Now that I just said you have to talk quietly, watch Jackson come in here and scream," Maxwell said. As if a prophet in Purgatory, he was right. Jackson threw open the door, came walking in, and screamed, "Hey!!!" at all of us. Maxwell laughed hysterically at this. I failed to remind him that laughter is not typically allowed in Purgatory.
What started out as a joke became hard-core religious belief for us. We had found Purgatory! This was it. And now we came to realize that it was nowhere near as bad as the Catholic Church had made it out to be.
Purgatory was a farily big room, about 20 ft. by 30 ft. There was a large pool in the middle of it, a small hot tub to the side, some strange pictographs depicting human figures in motion on a wall, some closests and other objects scattered hear and there, and some observatory windows, where, we assumed, God watched. The room itself was farily dark (although there were some hanging lights) and fairly warm. As mentioned before, it was harder to breathe in Purgatory than in the real world. A very distinctive feature of Purgatory, though, was the fact that many old men and women were swimming in its pool, moving unbelievably slowly.
Now, my friends and I found Purgatory absolutely fascinating. It was like Heaven on Earth for us (no religious reference or pun intended). One of my friends, Maxwell, was also convinced that we had discovered Purgatory. Another, Teeler, felt quite the opposite, holding in the tradition of Classical Lutheran Protestantism that Purgatory didn't exist. And others like Michke and Benny-J were simply shocked at the revelation that we had finally discovered the location of Purgatory.
I recall at that fateful swim party when Maxwell, Draw, and I introduced Benny-J to Purgatory. He seemed very distraught and sad, so we thought that it might cheer him up. "Whaa," he said when he saw it. Still, he was very weak and frail. We all sat down at a table in Purgatory. "I'm so sad," he commented, "I'm never going to be able to have kids." He then began to close his eyes and go to sleep. I became very concerned with this, and started to think about all of the moral guidelines and rules in Purgatory. "No," I said, "You are not allowed to sleep in Purgatory." With that, all four of us left and went back outside.
Now, this brought up an important topic for me: What was permissible to do in Purgatory? Obviously, you could not sleep, and Maxwell, Teeler, myself, and another friend named J-Ban decided that talking loudly was not permitted in Purgatory. When J-Ban asked Maxwell why, he simply said, "You must talk quietly in Purgatory." Immediately after saying this, a rather loud, gregarious friend of ours named Jackson was about to open the door to Purgatory and come inside with us. Maxwell recognized right away what would happen. "Now that I just said you have to talk quietly, watch Jackson come in here and scream," Maxwell said. As if a prophet in Purgatory, he was right. Jackson threw open the door, came walking in, and screamed, "Hey!!!" at all of us. Maxwell laughed hysterically at this. I failed to remind him that laughter is not typically allowed in Purgatory.
Another Perspective on This Odd Place
Note: I am not the same person who made the previous blog entry. He is Mark Greenman. I am Arthur Simmons. I am just another one of the people who discovered this Purgatory.
Anyways, I had done close to the exact same things that my friend had done in the previous entry. I was exiting the locker room at a health club to go outside to the pool for a swim party on the last day of school. On the way, I came into a strange dark room with a large pool, smaller hot tub, and lots of other strange objects and very old people doing laps slower than sloths move. Now, for some reason, it immediately occurred to me that I had to be in Purgatory! It was a warm, dark, somewhat peaceful place, but at the same time kind of annoying and a little hard to breathe in, and I wanted to get out of it.
Now, for my religious history: I had never been terribly religious in my life. Sure, I believed in God and tried to follow his ways and everything, but I was definitely not a Bible-toting religious extremist or anything. I did have a Catholic father though, so I knew very well the doctrine of Purgatory. Like the vast majority of modern-day Catholics, I thought it was a doctrine not to be taken entirely literally (i.e. it's not millions of years in a place basically like Hell) and I thought that Medieval Christians using it to gain financial support were definitely doing the wrong thing with it. However, I saw nothing wrong with the teachings of Purgatory as a whole.
So, with two other friends, I found a door that led outside to the pool. When I got outside, I said to one of them, Maxwell, "Hey, that room seemed an awful lot like Purgatory, you know?" He laughed pretty hard (he laughs at most things) and replied, "Yes. It is Purgatory in there."
Now, initially this was just a little joke between some of my friends and me, but we would come back many, many times to this extremely odd, and yet extremely fascinating, place.
Anyways, I had done close to the exact same things that my friend had done in the previous entry. I was exiting the locker room at a health club to go outside to the pool for a swim party on the last day of school. On the way, I came into a strange dark room with a large pool, smaller hot tub, and lots of other strange objects and very old people doing laps slower than sloths move. Now, for some reason, it immediately occurred to me that I had to be in Purgatory! It was a warm, dark, somewhat peaceful place, but at the same time kind of annoying and a little hard to breathe in, and I wanted to get out of it.
Now, for my religious history: I had never been terribly religious in my life. Sure, I believed in God and tried to follow his ways and everything, but I was definitely not a Bible-toting religious extremist or anything. I did have a Catholic father though, so I knew very well the doctrine of Purgatory. Like the vast majority of modern-day Catholics, I thought it was a doctrine not to be taken entirely literally (i.e. it's not millions of years in a place basically like Hell) and I thought that Medieval Christians using it to gain financial support were definitely doing the wrong thing with it. However, I saw nothing wrong with the teachings of Purgatory as a whole.
So, with two other friends, I found a door that led outside to the pool. When I got outside, I said to one of them, Maxwell, "Hey, that room seemed an awful lot like Purgatory, you know?" He laughed pretty hard (he laughs at most things) and replied, "Yes. It is Purgatory in there."
Now, initially this was just a little joke between some of my friends and me, but we would come back many, many times to this extremely odd, and yet extremely fascinating, place.
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