Arthur Simmonds,
I appreciate your letter and all it's sentiments, but it was the wrong day to send it. Actually, it was more like the wrong day for me to receive it. See, this morning was the worst day, week, whatever of my friggin short life!
Okay, first I'm going to give you some more info about my Purgatory. As I've discovered, most of the time, Purgatory covers at least the city that this health club is in. Even the outdoor pool. I actually went out there once. The weather was pretty nice. It was around the 70s Farenheight (don't know how to spell that word) and a little breezy. Once, I got in there and started swimming, hoping that I could possibly pass by the rest of my possibly-eternal-possibly-not life in Purgatory swimming there. For some reason, I can only swim so long before I get bored. Swimming is fun and all, but I can't do the same thing for days on end. It gets really boring.
See, that's what you don't get, Arthur... Peace. Is. Boring. I don't know how the old people do it for so long.
Anyway, let me explain why today was the worst day of my life. It's been about a week since I came here (I know that the blog archive says it came a day later, but time passes differently in Purgatory). So, I was just sitting in the hot tub, very bored. The heat was kind of making me dizzy, which was fun, so I just sat there. Anyway, when I started to feel nauseated, I got out of the hot tub (I'd thrown up too many times for it to be fun). So, I walked by the windows to go to the pool when I looked up and saw a huge crowd around the outside pool. At first, I was a bit confused. I was wondering if like a school bus went off a cliff or something because they were all kids like me. Then, I recognized one of the faces. It was one of my earthly friends, Rohario Mohalez (I don't think that's his real name. I take Spanish and I know the way he pronounces it does not match up with the way it's spelled. I'm not sure, but I think he may be running from the Russian mafia or something. It couldn't be the American mafia, seeing as he'd be trying to hide from the American mafia in America. I'm pretty sure he's not that dumb. But hey, it's been known to happen.)
Sorry about that tangent, I'm trying to distract myself from the horrible sadness that's taken me over. Anyway, I started paying close attention to the faces, and recognized them all. They were all from my school! I realized that they were having the School's Out! pool party. A black banner caught my eye. It read "In Memory of Mark Greenman". Everyone out there was really sad, I could tell. But me, I was ecstatic. Here it was! My chance to enter the real world and see my friends again! I ran to the door and reached out to push it open. Still running, I put all my weight behind my hands as they hit the door. The door didn't move an inch. My elbows buckled and my momentum propelled the rest of my body into the door. CRASH! My face hit the door last, before my whole body bounced backward. I tipped over onto the ground. I could feel blood rushing out of my nose; it was broken. I got up, dazed. Then I ran at the door again. It didn't move. I pushed the door, I kicked it, I punched it. I pounded the door over and over again. I started crying. I didn't care. All I wanted was to be with my friends again.
"Let me out!" I screamed. "Let me out, please!" I continued pounding. "LET ME OUT!" I pounded on that door for a long time. My arms grew tired, but I kept pounding. My throat burned, but I kept screaming. I was desperate to be in the real world. I'd never wanted anything more than this. My vision blurred, and I felt myself fall to the ground and fade away...
When I woke up, they were gone. I couldn't move, I was so physically and emotionally spent. I just laid there for what seemed like an eternity...
Checking the blog, I can't imagine trying to make good out of this situation. Maybe later, but not now...
Sincerely,
Mark Greenman
Showing posts with label death. Show all posts
Showing posts with label death. Show all posts
Saturday, June 6, 2009
Friday, June 5, 2009
THIS IS PISSING ME OFF!
Hi guys. I'm the first guy, by the way. Sorry about the confusion, we'll post our names from now on. I'm Mark, by the way, Mark Greenman. Anyway, let me start by giving you guys a little bit of info I've learned about Purgatory:
IT SUCKS!!!!! I mean, I ran for miles through an empty city before I figured out that this was actually PURGATORY! Then, I had to run all the way back to the health club/purgatory headquarters. Once there, I went into the locker room, locked myself in the stall, and screamed my head off. Eventually I lost my voice. Didn't matter, because apparently no one TALKS IN PURGATORY!!!!!!!!!! I mean, after that old dude told me where I was, no one talked to me. They just sit in chairs, swim like turtles (I'm trying to be P.C., you know what I'd say), and DON'T TALK!
Another piece of info: Somehow, we do get internet in Purgatory. Ask me how, my answer will be, "Do not know, bugger off!" The only thing is, this internet has the speed of dial-up divided by ten! It's slower than death. It literally took me ten minutes to connect to this page. I guess cross God-land internet is pretty slow. Anyway, I needed some way to get my emotions out without destroying my voice (again), so I blogged to you guys. Thanks for listening!
Info #3: I checked the blog later, and discovered that other people had posted to it. I read their posts, and got really, really, MAD! So, when I went to purgatory, I had to get hit by a bus (that's just my guess, not actual, proven fact) to get to Purgatory! I had to die! I'll never see my friends again! In return, I get to watch old guys swim in a frickin pool for all of eternity (with this attitude, I don't think I'll be "moving on"). The "others" seem to be able to come and go as they please. Well, HOW NICE FOR YOU! I hope you're reading this, other people, because if I see a kid sitting by those windows telling me "Welcome to Purgatory" I will slap him until he cries! But, since I've never seen them, I'm guessing that they're in a different Purgatory. Lucky them!
Have a GREAT LIFE, cause I won't!
-Mark Greenman
P.S. "Others," please sign your names when you post, even though the readers could probably differentiate between my uncontrollable rage and your "sense of adventure."
IT SUCKS!!!!! I mean, I ran for miles through an empty city before I figured out that this was actually PURGATORY! Then, I had to run all the way back to the health club/purgatory headquarters. Once there, I went into the locker room, locked myself in the stall, and screamed my head off. Eventually I lost my voice. Didn't matter, because apparently no one TALKS IN PURGATORY!!!!!!!!!! I mean, after that old dude told me where I was, no one talked to me. They just sit in chairs, swim like turtles (I'm trying to be P.C., you know what I'd say), and DON'T TALK!
Another piece of info: Somehow, we do get internet in Purgatory. Ask me how, my answer will be, "Do not know, bugger off!" The only thing is, this internet has the speed of dial-up divided by ten! It's slower than death. It literally took me ten minutes to connect to this page. I guess cross God-land internet is pretty slow. Anyway, I needed some way to get my emotions out without destroying my voice (again), so I blogged to you guys. Thanks for listening!
Info #3: I checked the blog later, and discovered that other people had posted to it. I read their posts, and got really, really, MAD! So, when I went to purgatory, I had to get hit by a bus (that's just my guess, not actual, proven fact) to get to Purgatory! I had to die! I'll never see my friends again! In return, I get to watch old guys swim in a frickin pool for all of eternity (with this attitude, I don't think I'll be "moving on"). The "others" seem to be able to come and go as they please. Well, HOW NICE FOR YOU! I hope you're reading this, other people, because if I see a kid sitting by those windows telling me "Welcome to Purgatory" I will slap him until he cries! But, since I've never seen them, I'm guessing that they're in a different Purgatory. Lucky them!
Have a GREAT LIFE, cause I won't!
-Mark Greenman
P.S. "Others," please sign your names when you post, even though the readers could probably differentiate between my uncontrollable rage and your "sense of adventure."
Departure and Arrival
So, it was just a normal day. Well, I guess it wasn't. It was the my last day ever at a school I'd been attending for 9 years. It was bittersweet.
Anyway, I'd just finished signing my friends' yearbooks (there were a lot of mistakes, as usual. Honestly, how is it so hard to differentiate between Math Club and Math Counts?) and I was walking to the bus that was going to take us to a pool party. So, my friend came up to me. He was sad that I was going, so he gave me a hug. I said, "I'll see you over the summer," and he said, "Yeah, but I'm still sad," and I said, "I know." Then we broke the hug and I turned around and walked forward. I saw a streak of yellow and... I don't know.
Suddenly, the air felt really heavy and thick. My eyes were closed for some reason. I opened my mouth to breath. Instead of air, fluid gushed into my lungs. I tried to yell and scream, but I couldn't. Instinctively, I jumped up, and I felt my head break out into air. I coughed up about half the water right there. I opened my eyes and saw through my blurry vision that I was in a pool. I swum to the edge, pulled myself out, and coughed up the rest of the water. What the heck is going on?
I turned my head to the side and saw a wrinkled, liver spot-covered foot in front of me. I looked up, and saw a wrinkled, liver spot-covered man in a Speedo that came with the food.
"Hello!" he said in a stereotypical old man voice. I just laid there, slightly in shock. "Welcome to Purgatory!"
I, being a slightly agnostic but mostly faithful Lutheran who believed that Purgatory was a scam made up by the Catholic Church in the olden days used to make poor people give them money, said, "You've got to be kidding me."
"Nope," he said. "You're in Purgatory."
I scoffed (fun word!) at him. "Okay, even if that were true, how would you know that we're in Purgatory?"
He explained, "Well, I'm not completely sure, but I've been here for quite a long time. Years, I think. The last thing I remember was climbing a very large mountain, I can't remember which, and then I slipped and fell for a while. Suddenly, I was laying in a hot tub."
I took this opportunity to examine where I was. We were in a closed room, about thirty by twenty feet. In it was a large pool and a hot tub. There were more people swimming laps. Very slowly. Like turtles (no offense to turtle lovers). "I still don't believe you," I said. Spotting a door, I marched to it, opened it, and continued marching. I reached a room that appeared to be a lobby for a health club or something. There were a few more people there, just sitting on chairs, doing nothing. I left the club and found that there was a city outside. So I kept walking, and walking, and walking... Trying to figure out where the heck I was.
I didn't like the answer.
Anyway, I'd just finished signing my friends' yearbooks (there were a lot of mistakes, as usual. Honestly, how is it so hard to differentiate between Math Club and Math Counts?) and I was walking to the bus that was going to take us to a pool party. So, my friend came up to me. He was sad that I was going, so he gave me a hug. I said, "I'll see you over the summer," and he said, "Yeah, but I'm still sad," and I said, "I know." Then we broke the hug and I turned around and walked forward. I saw a streak of yellow and... I don't know.
Suddenly, the air felt really heavy and thick. My eyes were closed for some reason. I opened my mouth to breath. Instead of air, fluid gushed into my lungs. I tried to yell and scream, but I couldn't. Instinctively, I jumped up, and I felt my head break out into air. I coughed up about half the water right there. I opened my eyes and saw through my blurry vision that I was in a pool. I swum to the edge, pulled myself out, and coughed up the rest of the water. What the heck is going on?
I turned my head to the side and saw a wrinkled, liver spot-covered foot in front of me. I looked up, and saw a wrinkled, liver spot-covered man in a Speedo that came with the food.
"Hello!" he said in a stereotypical old man voice. I just laid there, slightly in shock. "Welcome to Purgatory!"
I, being a slightly agnostic but mostly faithful Lutheran who believed that Purgatory was a scam made up by the Catholic Church in the olden days used to make poor people give them money, said, "You've got to be kidding me."
"Nope," he said. "You're in Purgatory."
I scoffed (fun word!) at him. "Okay, even if that were true, how would you know that we're in Purgatory?"
He explained, "Well, I'm not completely sure, but I've been here for quite a long time. Years, I think. The last thing I remember was climbing a very large mountain, I can't remember which, and then I slipped and fell for a while. Suddenly, I was laying in a hot tub."
I took this opportunity to examine where I was. We were in a closed room, about thirty by twenty feet. In it was a large pool and a hot tub. There were more people swimming laps. Very slowly. Like turtles (no offense to turtle lovers). "I still don't believe you," I said. Spotting a door, I marched to it, opened it, and continued marching. I reached a room that appeared to be a lobby for a health club or something. There were a few more people there, just sitting on chairs, doing nothing. I left the club and found that there was a city outside. So I kept walking, and walking, and walking... Trying to figure out where the heck I was.
I didn't like the answer.
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